An Unusual Affair
by Deodorantology
Summary: The Joker finds out he has some... unusual feelings for his Batman, and decided to shamelessly declare them to him once he has captured him. When he finally captures Batman. How will the Dark Knight react to those feelings, and how exactly does The Joker tell him how he feels? Will Batman return those feelings, or will his hate of what the other does overwhelm his own feelings? J/B
1. Is he even able to be sane?

******Warning**: This is a slash story. Meaning a relationship between two same-sex people. It won't bloom instantly -but there will be steamy parts- at least I won't try to make it like that. Might be slight OC in the way the characters are presented, but I will try my best. Rated M for slash, lemon, all possible the further the story develops. There might and will be scenes where there will be _intimate _contact between the two, and others where it's just plain Joker and Batman. Joker/Batman. Don't like? Don't watch.

Don't tell me I didn't warn you.

And if you're here purely for the steamy parts, or out of sheer boredom, then this is definitely not for you.

******Disclaimer**: I do not own Batman, nor do I make any profit from this fanfiction. If I did own Batman... _ You cannot imagine what it would look like.

**Chapter 1**

Is he even able to be sane?

A groan came from somewhere in the pitch black darkness, and the owner of the strangled sound forced open his blue eyes. He tried looking around, but even his night vision couldn't do much, since for an unknown reason, it didn't work. But the real question was what happened and where was he? Trying to stand up, the blue-eyed man found himself bound by chains. Why couldn't he remember being captured and chained? This was ridiculous.

"This is interesting. _Batsy_ has finally awoken." an all-too-familiar falsetto voice said. The man growled, struggling against the chains. The owner of that ridiculous voice was so going to get his ass back to the Asylum. Even if he managed to escape everytime. Suddenly deciding to give the clown the silent treatment, _"Batsy" _closed his sapphire eyes and just sighed. He waited for the other to do something or say something, or at least hit him, but nothing came. Which was extremely rare in this case. _Extremely _rare. It was like the Joker was waiting for _him _to do something. _Him_, being the one, the only, _Batman_. Sighing once more, Batman decided to stop with this stupid game, and opened his mouth to speak.

"Ah, ah, ah. No speaking until I tell you to, Bats." The Joker snickered, his long porcelain fingers reaching for the light switch. As the light flickered on, revealing that it gave barely enough light to allowed both to see each other, the detective bit back a snide remark, and grit his teeth.

"What's wrong? _Bat _caught your tongue?" the demented clown cackled, a large grin plastered on his face, the two red _extensions _not helping much to change the size. The blue-eyed man rolled his eyes, trying to fold his arms, but failing miserably.

"Okay, since you asked _sooooo _nicely, I'll tell you what I want." the Joker said, cocking his head and fixing his emerald eyes on Batman's sapphire ones. Bruce couldn't help but shiver under his... very _lustful _glare. He had a bad feeling come to him, and instead of keeping his gaze on his enemy, he decided to look around the room.

It looked very much like a basement of some sort. It was dark and gloomy, and for some reason freaked him out just slightly. It wasn't like anything he had ever seen. There were smiley faces everywhere on the walls, and even writing that was clearly written with blood. He squinted trying to read what he said. Finally managing to read some of the smeared words, Batman's blue orbs widened. _Must. Capture. Ba... _He squinted even more, trying to read the last word but not really being able to.

That couldn't be the beginning of the name Batman, could it?

Shivering as he felt the piercing glare go even deeper into his soul, Bruce allowed himself to look back.

"I want you-" Before The Joker could finish, his captive gave a simple cough.

"And I will not do that." He simply replied, not really knowing what the clown's intentions were, but hoping he wouldn't continue.

"To submit to me."

_What was that?_ Batman's eyes widened once again. Surely he didn't mean it in... _That _way. Did he? He didn't... Right?

"What?" he simply said, not trying to show his obvious surprise.

"I'll say it as many times as it is necessary, until you understand that statement." the clown said, grinning sheepishly. The Bat could feel a slight blush creep over his masked features, and hoped none of it would show to the clown. Refusing to reply to the sentence that the harlequin had stated, he just looked down at the ground, and tried clearing his throat. The Joker just stared at him intently, before starting to giggle hysterically.

"That was not the reaction I had expected you to have, _Batsy_. I had more or less expected you to break your chains and give me a beating or two. Seems like you don't hate me after all." the Joker chuckled, getting out of his chair and moving to stand infront of his prisoner, who proceeded to shift away uncomfortably.

"You... You must be crazy." Bruce suddenly snapped in a gruff voice, still _very _shocked. Another fit of hysterical giggles escaped the clown's mouth, before he knelt down and kept his green eyes focused on his captive, whose blue eyes moved up to meet the green ones.

"Or you must have no sense of reality at all. I know who you are, _Batsy. _I'm sure you have plethora of girls clinging on to you. What with your sexy body and muscles." the green-eyed psycho snickered, flicking Batman's chest, before sliding that very same finger down to the utility belt, emitting a small groan and shiver from the other.

"_Joker._" Batman warned loudly, a dark blush creeping over his features as he noticed that his enemy's intentions were indeed those of a... very perverted clown. Realizing his warning had absolutely no effect on the jester, Batman decided to just close his mouth and grit his teeth, trying not to make any more _strange _sounds.

The finger, now joined by the rest of the family, fiddled with the utility belt. The owner of the hand giggled in satisfaction, as the very annoying obstacle finally fell to the ground with a loud _clink_.

"You're Bruce Wayne, aren't you? That millionaire or billionaire? I would never mistake those muscles and blue eyes with anybody else." The Joker said, _very _happy at the sound he had made his captive make. It sounded like a dissatisfied grunt at having his enemy find out his true identity.

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone." the harlequin said, an obvious smirk in his voice, as his hand moved to the slowly hardening lump of _meat _in the man's batsuit. Unable to hold in a quiet moan of pleasure once the pale hand worked on rubbing against his manhood from above the fabric, Bruce closed his sapphire orbs. What entertained The Joker the most was seeing how the Batman shivered under his touch.

"Well, now I know your weak point. But I guess that's every man's weakness, no?" the Clown Prince of Crime laughed. The blue eyes were forced open slowly, and showed a very resentful glare towards the clown. It was painully obvious that his enemy knew it felt good.

"Oh, _Batsy_. No need to look at me like that. I _know _you like this..." he started, but was interrupted by the wailing sirens of the police.

"But I'm afraid our time is over." A wave, cackle, and then he was gone. Ran out of the door like the complete maniac he was. Folding his legs in order to hide the painful erection, Batman just tried to calm his nerves, and focused on removing the blush off his face. Realizing that his hands were no longer tired, he started to get really angry, but stopped himself.

He would get the clown later. Oh, he will get him alright. Standing up, and trying not to make it too obvious that he was pulling his cape over both shoulders and covering the throbbing organ, Batman just strode out of the basement and climbed up the stairs one by one, panting just slightly at the unexpected _activity _he had just had with The Joker.

"Gordon, Joker has escaped from my grips once again, but luckily, no one was... Hurt." he said, his voice gruff, and sounded slightly pissed. He hoped that the Commissioner would pass it off as anger that his enemy had escaped him again.

"I know, we met him on the way. We weren't able to stop him though, after hearing that he said you were chained up in a basement. Bruce growled loudly.

"Commissioner. You know I can get myself out of chains easily. You should have captured him." Batman sighed.

"He said... You were overwhelmed by sleeping gas... Er... Sorry about that, Bru- Batman." Batman just rolled his eyes and waved him off with a slight wave of his hand.

"I must go now, I was indeed chained to the wall, and being chained to the wall is rather tiring." Not waiting for an answer, Batman was off to Wayne Manor.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A/N: Okay, first chapter. R/R, please. It gives us authors inspiration to continue.~


	2. Bruce's strange nightmare

**Warning**: This is a slash story. Meaning a relationship between two same-sex people. It won't bloom instantly -but there will be steamy parts- at least I won't try to make it like that. Might be slight OC in the way the characters are presented, but I will try my best. Rated M for slash, lemon, all possible the further the story develops.

There might and will be scenes where there will be _intimate _contact between the two, and others where it's just plain Joker and Batman. Joker/Batman. Don't like? Don't watch.

Don't tell me I didn't warn you.

And if you're here purely for the steamy parts, or out of sheer boredom, then this is definitely not for you.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Batman, nor do I make any profit from this fanfiction. If I did own Batman... You cannot imagine what it would look like.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

**Chapter 2**

Bruce's strange nightmare.

Whilst sleeping, Bruce Wayne was a sight indeed. His features were all relaxed and he didn't look like a serious man at all. He looked more like the playboy that he really was, or well, should be. You see, Bruce wasn't really the type that liked having _too _many girls around him, one or two, sure. But being surrounded by girls? No frickin' way. So, while this very man was sleeping, he was usually not even taken as a candidate for being Batman. But honestly, this billionaire was indeed _the _Batman.

Well, his alter ego was.

But, anyway, Bruce didn't look like he was sleeping very well. Actually, it was the complete opposite. He was sleeping very bad, due to a... Nightmare? No. The poor man wouldn't put it that way, he'd never even admit to having bad dreams. It was true, though, he was indeed having a nightmare. Sleeping alone didn't help much in this case, what he really needed was someone to wrap their arms around him and comfort him. Did he have that? Not really. Most girls hung around him because of the money. Prostitutes, you could call them. Or whores. And Bruce knew that, much better than anyone else. All those girls ever said _always _had the word 'money' and 'sex' in the same sentence. And he was really getting sick of it.

Back to the nightmare Bruce was having, or still is, as a matter of fact. It seemed to make him fidget around in his bed, and that was not normal for the usually calm and composed billionaire. Not normal at all. What the bad dream was about, no one knew, really. What people did know, though, was that it was horrible enough to get the playboy to sit up suddenly, ocean blue eyes wide and a heart that was thumping loudly and quickly. He calmed down as he realized he was still in his bed, and looked up to see an elderly man that looked at him worriedly.

"...Alfred?" Bruce asked, blinking a few times, and climbing out of bed.

"Master Wayne, did you have a nightmare?" the butler asked, the worried glint still in his eyes. The billionaire smiled reassuringly, making sure to get all of the emotion off his face. Then simply shook his head and started towards the bathroom, leaing the elderly butler standing alone and confused. Bruce would never keep something from Alfred if he asked. This meant that something bad was either going to happen or had already happened.

Hearing the water run, Alfred just sighed and started walking towards the kitchen to prepare his Master some breakfast... lunch... Dinner. Maybe after some food, Master Wayne would be willing to share what the dream was about.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The Joker stood staring at one of his henchmen, the one called... Mr. Tickles was it? He had killed his other ones for their questioning behavior, and ended up with the only three that could even do something. Laffy, Mr. Tickles and Smiles. The jester grinned widely at the man standing tall in front of him. Mr. Tickles was his favorite of the three. He had even managed to help capture Batman for him.

"Sir.. May I ask why you have released the Bat?" Mr. Tickles asked, his voice having a hint of a smirk. The Joker had always liked this particular man because he was not afraid of death. And because no matter how hard he tried to kill him, he never did. It was entertaining, and also quite sad, but entertaining nonetheless. The clown's henchman looked like someone that would be tough to oppose even with two SWAT teams. Mr. Tickles was bald, had piercings in both of his ears and his nose, had tattoos all over his arms, hands, and chest. The henchman had large muscles, even larger than Batman's, and his eyes were a light grey almost white. Making some people think that the man in front of them could be blind.

"Oh, Mr. Tickles. I wanted to have more fun with the Bat." the Clown Prince of Crime snickered, patting his henchman's shoulder. He then smiled, it was a very large and eery smile, one that fit well with the dark green curls that sprung to life all around a porcelain face. Looking more closely at his face, people could see that the enlarged red smile that was always on his face was not make up, but a permanent smile. One that would almost never be hidden from sight. The black around his emerald eyes contrasted his skin in an almost freaky way. Those green eyes seemed to look through any man or woman's soul.

"Alright, sir. Would you like me to capture him once more? It wasn't hard, sir." Mr. Tickles questioned, a large grin on his face. He was the only one that would ever get away with asking questions to the harlequin. The Joker threw a _joker _card at the henchman, the card sliding right past his face. But Mr. Tickles didn't even budge, his grin merely grew wider, _much _wider.

"Not yet. Let him rest a while longer. I want you, though, to capture Bruce Wayne at Wayne Manor. I would like to have a word with the billionaire." the clown cackled, before skipping happily out of the room.

Now, it was time to cause chaos. Only chaos.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Bruce stepped out of the shower, wearing beige shorts and a plain white shirt. Smiling in satisfastion, the playboy thanked his butler and started eating his brunch. Relief washed over his senses as the food filled him up slowly. Stretching his arms up over his head once he was done, Batman looked back at Alfred. He felt sorry for lying to the man, but how could he explain his nightmare had been about... What happened in the basement that day? He couldn't tell anyone that, could he?

Not even Vicky or Selina. He couldn't tell anyone.

"You, Master Wayne, tell me what is wrong. I do not like seeing you worried like this." the butler said, not really an order nor a question, just a statement. Bruce took in a sharp breath before closing his eyes. He wasn't going to tell it, so he just proceeded to start walking towards the bat-cave.

"What do you think you're doing, ignoring me like that?" Alfred urged hurrying after Bruce. The billionaire playboy just sighed, brushing a tanned hand through wild wet black hair, before turning around to face his butler, blue eyes sparkling in irritation.

"Alfred... This... This is something I cannot talk to you about. I apologize." he muttered, disappearing into the bat-cave, he then started to his bat-suit and sighed quietly. The sudden beeping of his phone interrupted his line of thoughts and he looked at the beeping bat-signal. Answering it, Bruce just started with the usual.

"Yes, commissioner? What is wrong?" he asked, eyes widening bit by bit as what Gordon was saying started to sink in.

"I'm on my way. He wants to talk to Bruce Wayne. He'll get Bruce Wayne." His statement was answered by silence, as Bruce slammed the phone onto the table, and started to walk back up.

"Alfred. Get someone to bring me to-" He started, but was interrupted by Alfred coughing lightly, smiling up at him.

"Already arranged, sir." The elderly man chuckled and watched his employer hurry out the door with a quick thanks.

"You know where to bring me, right?" Bruce asked, once he seated himself in the limo. The driver nodded simply, and was already on his way before any more words could be exchanged. The chauffeur knew this was a trap, The Joker was his boss after all, and it amused him to see how easy it was to get the billionaire out of the Manor with no problem at all. The driver finally looked back, a clown mask covering his face.

_Wait... A clown mask?_

"Shouldn't you have a body guard, or something?" the masked man grinned at Bruce, and the playboy was ready to punch him in the face when everything went black.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

**A/N**: I'm going to be the evil person I really am and stop the chapter here. You'll just have to wait for and read the rest of it.~ So far I hope you like it, and well, thank you for sticking with me. My first J/B fanfiction, and my second fanfiction ever. Yes, I have written before, just not fanfictions.

Anyways, R/R, it keeps us authors inspired and our muse fed.~


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